The Widening Divide
The divide between man and woman has been alarmingly widening in India. It has acquired an equal significance with the continental drifting that separated many countries from their native continents thousands of years ago. The drift is so alarming that now one wonders what had made God in the garden of Eden see the awkwardness of man left alone without a pair. Will man and woman drift away completely and will one of them go in the path of extinction?
Here, most people say that women have no safety because it is like that . Since the day Sita was kidnapped by the Prime Minister of Sri Lanka (Mr. Ravan) and Helen by Paris, women say they are unsafe in the evenings and nights. If she happens to be walking home from her office or hire a taxi to her aunt’s home at 8 pm, she is prone to being raped. Although 90% such rapes happen in movies, on Whatsapp and newspapers, the 10% rapes are real. The irony is, the same rule applies to a 10 year old boy if he happened to be traveling at the same time by the same road provided he had to carry a bag of money. The same happens to a boy of 7 if he falls into the hands of some kidnappers. Where is the difference? Why is woman always projected as the targets or victims an man and boys not?
Here you will hear everyone talk about women’s safety problems but if you are a woman and slap a gentleman on his face, out of anger at someone else, a dozen hands will join your hands to slap him. If you are a man and you tried to stop a woman snatcher by her collar (you will have to broaden your search for a collar), you will not get any support. In most cases, it will be you who would probably go to jail.
Bad Women and Bad Men
It appears that the world is full of men who are mostly bad. Man beats his wife, man rapes, man joins IS, man drinks, man smokes, man loots, oh, man! If a man looks at a beautiful woman out of adoration, he is accused of staring and he is a termed bad and if a woman looks at a man, he doesn’t complain. The society has no known objection. Why is this discrimination? If a woman has the right to look and study a man’s appearance or gait, he too has the same. If you do not want to be looked at or studied, for whom are you decorating yourself? Out of the millions of species in the earth the only one who adds decoration to its natural appearance is human being and 90% of the decoration, woman! Some of my female friends have honestly confessed that they are not decorating or styling for men! Queer, if they said it correctly. Then for whom are they making up? For themselves? Or to feel superior among her equals?
In Delhi I met the most hostile, the most pompous women and in Dubai I met a different kind and on Facebook some more hostile ones. Pampered by fathers and new generation brothers, liked by facebook and followed by twitter and instagram, flattered by boy friends and husband’s, most girls are vanity incarnated. Have you not noticed a condescending feel immediately above the lips of some pretty girls when they pass you by? This is degree higher in close comparison to the same expressed by boys with an appealing look and hard-earned muscles. Why are we so? Your creamy body, dear girl, your rocky biceps, dear boy, cannot stand an earth quake. You will be just broken bones and crunched flesh under the fallen concrete. Why are you so much proud of yourself? What have you done so much as to feel condescending? Your life has been all about eating, excreting and tempting poor men.
Man is never against women wearing sleeveless blouses, skin tight leggings, bikinis, anything or nothing. In fact it was man, the only tailors until the last century, who decided what women should wear – how short, how long, how exposing and how covering.
The point is, women need not be worshiped at all. She is a human being, better said, she is an ordinary man who keeps her hair long, face clean and heavily ornamented and decorated. No woman deserves any more respect than any man does.
Sounds sacrilegious? May I explain? Man does as many works as woman does. As a boy I used to run all errands like running five miles down the town to buy vegetables, grains, grams, kerosene oil, ration provisions and to sell processed rubber sheets, cashew nuts and crab apple while my sister stayed home, doing her hair or going to tuition. When I grew up my brother took my place and ran the same errands, my sister now married. The most adventurous thing she did was delivering two babies. My brother in law did all the works from buying, selling and toiling like a donkey all the time.
After all these years I still listen to the Sunday sermon in the church – the priest raising women’s status sky high and talks of man’s drinking habits. I do not attempt to look down at a woman’s contributions to her family and society. On the contrary, I mean to assert her equality in the society. She is mother as he is father. If she is goddess, then he is God. She is at times evil as he is. Where is the difference?
When you understand woman this way, there goes all the questions of equality and inequality into their graves. The greatest paradox is that, in spite of all the slogans that women shout in the rallies, woman is not ready to admit that she is man’s equal. I am sure you have started distrusting me. Yes, woman is not demanding absolute freedom but a conditional one. She is not interested in buying her freedom from her arch rival, man, with all the responsibilities.
I will explain this point. We have seen men being beaten up in case he is caught stealing, passing comments at women, driving carelessly or ramming into other cars. The society is, irrespective of the size and brand of his car, rude with his carelessness and misbehavior. I would want women to think over this. The society is always a lot of patient and tolerant with women. If she happened to ram into someone’s car, the society is not as mad with her. The society of man and woman alike is concerned with her. You have always missed that out!
From this point I am going to write without any mask – honest and blunt. You may feel offended. A few words about dressing. Can you imagine a man or boy wearing a tightly fit legging with a padded underwear such a way fitted that his penis gets a little attention? I feel like loathing me for writing such a line but what about women who wear padded bras to project a very sexually sensitive part like breasts? One day she wears a sari that exposes her naval and the next day she puts on a tee whose lower brims she pulls down all the while because she doesn’t want the wind pull it up and expose her naval! What a paradox, ladies!! A day before the whole world saw that part of yours!
The other day I happened to observe two friends – a young man and a young woman, hardly in their early twenties, college students – in live conversation on a bus in Delhi, India. Closely watching their body language and gestures, I saw that the girl was very carefree with her hands while calling his attention to the topic of their conversation. She poked her male friend on his chest, quite unaware of the sensitivity his body parts expressed with her poking and touching. Her fingers quite innocently played on his belly, naval and his nipples. I was wondering what if the boy had done the same with the girl. What if he had poked her breasts and nipples as casually and innocently as she had done with his! Apparently it was not going to be the same. From this, I learnt that male and female are only in the feeling or understanding levels.
I am not a male chauvinist in the first place. I respect women as I respect men. I have a stand with men as well as women. I don’t respect drunkards, rapists, pickpockets, smokers and porn stars among men as I with sluts who put on too much make up and too little clothes.
Dress up or Dress down!
So here is it all gathered together. If you feel comfortable in the Western outfits, no one stops you from doing so but be fully western. The element of sex is nothing more than the element of eating and drinking in those countries. There are hardly any teenager who hasn’t had sex with his or her classmates in America or in Europe. Get ready to give company to your boyfriend who wants you to be more than just close with you. I am not being sarcastic at all. Your Western dressing sure seduces man and boys so why don’t you create a western society in our midst? Let’s be completely Western! After all, you have been asking men to change their perspective and now it is your turn to change. If Eastern be fully Eastern or else be Western, fully. Anyone ready? Any rotten tomatoes for me?
- WOMan is Woe Of Man
- The author is not an anti feminist. He feels greatly hurt to see that the divide between male and females in India (and elsewhere) has been widening.